Funny

Created on 19/6/2008

There continues to be ever more strange happenings that beg to be commented upon in dear old blighty. Some of these events might seem to be disconnected but I insist there is a common theme.

Over the last few days the judicial system decided, in its infinite wisdom, to release Abu Qatada from prison. This is a man variously described as a “fanatical preacher”, “the right hand man in Europe of Osama Bin Laden” and “the spiritual father of European acts of terror”. It is said that this spreader of hate influenced others to attack the West, including civilians, despite his living in comfort, in England. This is made worse by the fact that he gained entry fourteen years ago into this country with a fake passport. The reason he could not be deported was because in Jordan, he was wanted for capital offences, which could result “in an unfair trial which could then result in his being executed. Our laws don’t allow us to extradite prisoners to a third country where that could be the consequence.

When the judge granted him bail, he stated that there were no grounds for keeping Abu Qatada in prison. How about these grounds –for being a murdering, lying, deceitful bastard who should be sent back to Jordan to be tried and executed?

We also had official notification that the inflation rate in the UK had reached 3.3%, it’s highest rate for 16 years. This doesn’t sound so bad, but that would only be the case if this figure were accurate. Of course it isn’t. This is the inflation rate if you deduct falling house prices and similar drops in items that simply wouldn’t see in the real inflationary spiral, currently overtaking us. If you take that out of the equation the real inflation rate is more like 10% to 20% on everyday living costs such as oil, gas, petrol and food. These are the items that affect us all and which are spiralling out of reach.

My only bright spot is that as we have to pay to look after the criminal bastard Abu Qatada by handing him money so he can live on bail in the manner to which he has become accustomed, but at least there’s the thought that his benefit will be eaten up a bit by the inflation we’re all now going to suffer. Then again, I bet you he gets an inflation linked rise in the money we give him so that he can laugh some more at us.

Whilst on the subject of madmen and idiots it has been repeatedly asked of me that I voice the opinion of the majority who ask this question, why has no country sanctioned the assassination of Robert Mugabe? I genuinely don’t agree with the state sanctioned killing of anyone, but when that someone qualifies as some kind of black Hitler you are forced to the conclusion that the world would be better off if Mugabe simply ceased to exist.

Staying with the idiots, and yet another of these, the unjustifiably perky, always pesky Hazel Blears, Secretary for the Communities in our Ruritarian government, had her computer stolen. As in the last nine recent instances of our leaders and custodians losing our top-secret information, it contained secrets and confidential information that should not be in the public domain. I have two questions in this regard;

1. Why are these secret files ever removed from the offices of these officials unless there is a concrete reason for doing so?
2. Failing which, if they do have to be allowed out of the offices in which they are secure, why are these documents not encrypted before they are put onto anyone’s computer?

The government’s official idiot spokesman will say, “there will be an immediate and wide ranging enquiry, and no cover up.” which we all know will exonerate anyone senior as some junior and faceless bureaucrat takes the punishment in return for a comfortable pension, unless he or she has a conscience, in which case they will commit suicide, real or professional. As for the patronizing Ms. Blears, she who never admits to any wrongdoing or blemish will no doubt attempt to spin this incident so that she is not only blameless but able to lecture us, her public, on how to live our lives as she does, perfectly, with a smile locked on her silly, patronizing face. It seems obvious to me that the only reason this incompetent still has a government job is that our Prime Minister keeps her in government so he can look good when compared.

Perhaps those of you who don’t know the background need a quick reminder. Over the last few days there was the mysterious case of the senior civil servant who worked as a Cabinet official who after confessing to his error, was suspended after leaving top-secret documents on a train, followed, one day later with Treasury papers dealing with global terrorism, and how its funded, found on a second train. Then there was the laptop belonging to the deputy chief constable of Avon and Somerset, who clearly has access to top-secret information, which was stolen from his car. These are just the most recent of ten or so manifestations of incompetence to a degree not seen outside of a Pink Panther movie.

Or do you agree with my theory, that I voiced a few days back, in which I surmised that such an outbreak of happenings defy the cock up theory and become a much more likely plot to expose and get rid of this government?

I expect exploding cakes, men in wheelchairs unable to hear the old German national anthem without giving the Nazi salute and others saying the immortal words, “I will tell you the code, only once!” Our leadership is a total farce and the only people who don’t appear to know this is our leadership. The message to the whole sorry bunch of them is listen to the voice of the people and go!